The tiniest thought of death is the most intimidating.
Maybe because I’ve never been so alive.
I pine for life to never end because the power that came with existence.
Sadly, death is the thief that comes with no warning.
He has a permanent tattoo of all names.
Death steals the living breath from any soul.
He tears the happiness out of hearts and replaces with grief.
He pins dreams to the ground so that they never have the chance to rise again.
But what I’ve been in this life is to stay.
When it is my time it will be as if I never left.
I have begun an empire and it shall ever stand.
What I’ve done will be remembered, somewhere.
My footprints, still on the sidewalks I walked, somewhere.
When I die I will still be alive in a heart, remembered somewhere.
I stopped my peaceful walk to sit down on a hard-wood bench.
The wood was chipped, and the paint was worn-down.
Some of its paint had crumbled away, and parts of the bench were rusted.
It was then I noticed the wind had authority over nature.
I heard the trees swooshing back and forth.
Their leaves waving at anything passing by.
The birds were chirping.
You would only hear them if you listened closely.
By now, the wind was no longer a whisper,
It was a restrained roar.
The sun beamed its heavenliness on the trees reaching up to it.
It gave the trees and I hope winter soon would take away.
The bees were buzzing by to smell my hazelnut coffee.
It seemed as if they were dizzied from the force of the wind.
I sighed in awe.
I saw one leaf that fell lifeless to the ground.
It was tired of holding on and finally let go.
It scratched against the sidewalk as the wind pulled it to its destruction.
The leaf was an ashy-brown.
Some were still holding on to their color.
There was one that glowed and swayed in the wind.
This leaf caught my skimming eyes.
It was different from the others.
The leaf glimmered.
The golden rays of the sun bounced off its patchy green and brown surface.
The leaf signaled to me that winter was near.
A bright yellow butterfly gracefully passed and vanished in the grass in front of me.
Trees were making their last effort to pump life back into their now brown and brittle leaves.
The trees refused to let the coming of Winter make them die.
I am something impossible to dilute.
The concentrated, raw, and insoluble potion.
Take me, untamable as I am.
My attitude, emotion, and all.
Artistic, innovative, and expressive.
Facial expressions as blatant as a book for dummies.
I’m written in bold legible black letters on paper as white as alabaster.
A black – rich and dark, like a plasma screen tv that’s off all weekend.
Plain for sight.
I’m meant for you to understand.
But not always.
I’m also written in a grey area.
Difficult and challenging like a math problem on a test you keep checking before you turn in.
At times, you can’t quite put a finger on me.
Unpredictable, but only when I choose.
Take me as I am.
I’m intelligent enough to be complicated.
Take me as melanin poppin’ as I am.
My hair – natural, and full of heritage.
I have coils tighter than I clench my black fist during Black History Month.
And that’s tight.
I’m the illegal drug that you feed on,
knowing it destroys your insides every second it’s in your bloodstream.
But you get high the same way, every time.
Take me as I am because you have no choice.
There is nothing in this world like me and there never will be.
Many talk and few listen.
To understand one another should be our mission.
Many talk to be heard, not to relate.
Tongues fixed eager for debate.
You know, closed ears leads to a closed mind?
And then a closed heart.
Many hear nothing because they’re anxious to start.
Did you hear the message, the soul of the person?
Try to speak with love as a purpose.
Listen to learn.
I promise it’s worth it.
Mama always told me a hard-head makes a soft ass.
I’ve learned to listen because I’m not the only person with class.
Close your mouth and open your mind.
Hear your humankind.
Photo Credit of Plaserae Johnson
Temple of beauty and gentleness.
The bearer of all fruit.
The Juliet and Stella to every Romeo and Astrophil.
A server of her purpose when her ovaries are ready like red rubies, and ripe grapes.
Tulips of life she is.
The obligation to life, and to live.
Nurturer of all nature.
Provider of nutrients and sanity.
She is the calm and love in every breathing, blood-filled beast.
Her womb is the patient keeper of the unfinished.
Infinitely created to create.
Her bones will decay, interfered by age.
Her skin dying day by day.
Fading, and wrinkling like packed, pounds of prunes.
That, drooping like an unbearable load in an old, tired sack.
The hex born of Eve’s cunning and alluring ways.
She, something so, must end.
Jinxed, she must turn back to dust.
Photo courtesies of Google Images
You’re effortlessly manipulated
You’ll let him lie to you easily
Cause your body gets stimulated
You become a fool and fall blindly
Deep down you know you shouldn’t answer his call.
But you pick up without hesitating.
You act like you have no morals at all.
You see the problem you’re creating?
They don’t want to watch this again.
Why do you want to feel it again?
You know what will happen but you pretend.
You pretend, it won’t end.
You’re smart but make opposite decisions.
Confusion because of infusion,
The effect of your own inflictions.
Investing your time and feelings.
You open your legs and it leads to your heart.
Then be left crying and healing.
Girl you knew what it was from the start.
You let it happen.
Open the door and held it open too.
You let it happen.
You let him do this to you.
Photo Courtesy of Google
Don’t say it,
Because you’ll say it ’til you can’t say it any more.
I don’t want to hear it, I’ve heard it all before.
You love me.
You always have and you’re proud.
You support me.
Y’all always say it aloud.
How about when I ask you for help, you show up?
Start being there.
I don’t need your distant “good luck’s”.
For those I don’t care.
Why can’t you hush up?
Why can’t you be there?
You shouldn’t speak if you can’t back it up.
The real talk, doesn’t talk.
You sound like the rest, go head line up.
The real walks the walk.
Now I won’t expect it.
You’ll come around when I’m on top.
I’m not gone stress it.
I’m just fine, cause my grind, it won’t stop.
Real talk doesn’t talk.
Cause it shows.
Real talk doesn’t talk.
You know how it goes.
My heart bulged in my tight chest.
It grew heavier and weaker all at once.
I could hear it knocking in my ears.
My feet felt like they were tacked into the ground.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t lift them.
My mouth fell open in disbelief.
Then my blood ran hot.
Then I thought.
How dare you?
How dare you tell me “I have my own family and my own life”?
As if I asked you to be my father, right?
How dare you?
How dare you tell me “I’m upset and this thing we’re trying to do is over”?
I’m not one of your women, I’m your daughter.
How dare you?
You can’t break up with me.
I am your first offspring.
My own, my own flesh.
He looked at me and told me this like I never mattered.
I died inside, and my whole world shattered.
Those sharp words pierced me and then my blood splattered.
It splattered all over him.
It stained his eyes, his flesh, his mind, his heart, his soul and spirit.
Nothing, no cleaning he could ever do to get rid of it.
I turned away.
I had nothing else to say.
What could take this feeling away?
I felt lifeless as I walked back inside.
Everyone in the same places.
I ran upstairs.
Faster than any of my college track races.
Panting, out of air.
Why? How could he say this?
He doesn’t even care.
No one ever leaves me breathless.
“But it isn’t my fault”
“I didn’t do anything wrong”
That’s what I thought.
How am I the kid
but I’m the adult?
My eyes swelled with blinding tears.
I cleansed my soul, heart, my whole being from him.
Everything bottled up from over the years.
I said, “never, never again”.
You reap what you sow man.
You have no idea what you’ve just done to me.
You changed everything I am.
My success will avenge me.
From that moment on, I promised myself that no one would ever again, hurt me that way.
No one would make me feel dead with the words they say.
You do not know of me, I am Plaserae.